It’s not just a guy thing – it’s a bushido thing.
The irrationally demanding boss. The temperamental, uncommunicative father. The co-worker who never admits mistakes. The husband who won’t ask for directions. Why do so many men self-sabotage their personal growth and relationships? Generations of men, whether they know it or not, have patterned their lives after the legendary warrior Miyamoto Musashi, who practiced bushido, the way of the warrior. His teachings prioritized the suppression of feelings, constant wariness, isolation and the willingness to sacrifice one’s life in service of the clan lord.
Followers of Musashi’s way don’t talk much. They don’t consider feelings and emotions relevant to decision-making. They are perfectionists. They don’t explain themselves, ask questions or tolerate other’s questions. They are hard on themselves and those around them. In this follow-up to her acclaimed self-help book Why Smart People Do the Same Dumb Things, Dr. Rosalie Tatsuguchi explains the thought behind the bushido paradigm and teaches how to know when you should be a stern samurai, or when you should give and accept intimacy.